So I'm working on a new artist statement, and with it I am really trying to dig deep into myself, and use this process to learn more about why I do what I do. It's no doubt that death has had a heavy hand in shaping who I am, but I am also realizing just how important story telling and narrative is to me. Throughout all the pain I experienced in childhood, storytelling was always there. I created worlds and my mother was always the wise sage. I spent a fair share of my early childhood alone... and even as I'm writing about it I wonder how vulnerable I want to be, how vulnerable I really can be. There are a lot of things that were crucial to my development that I am wondering how.. or if... I should talk about it. My childhood was far from the worst but I was definitely pushed closer to the deep end when I jumped in. As much as I remember the amazing times, and some of my favorite memories, I also remember almost daily screaming matches, and periods of time when my mom didn't speak or move and my sister and I had to take care of her. But I have to remind that as much as there was trouble and darkness there was light. You would be hard pressed to find someone as non-judgmental and compassionate as my mother. I could go more into depth but people don't understand. People are so quick to judge that it makes it difficult to say anything hard and not have people jump to conclusions. I suppose I have some unresolved turmoil to get through in this. My sister's working on a documentary... maybe it'll be easier to talk about after that. Then everyone can understand.
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